&Tears.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
I want to be mad, I want to kick and scream and throw shit and break people's necks and kill a motherfucker.
But, I'm not mad.
I'm reall not.
However, I am hurt.
11:30 last night, I finally found out the truth.
They're going to start dating once her divorce is finalized,
and the kiss was a makeout.
She said if I wanted to know anything else, I need to take it up with Jake.
And I cried non-stop for two hours.
Then I called Kaela,
and finally let her go to sleep around 2.
And I just felt empty.
Then I thought of everything he'd said to me, and wondered if it was all a lie.
But I don't think it was, at least, I don't want it to be.
Then my stomach did the sinking-feeling again.
And I felt like I was going to puke, and I just cried for another hour or so, and then I got it together and just logged back on and sat on the computer. I headed to bed around 4.

And maybe when the wound isn't so fresh, I can backread the conversation and let this be a little more descriptive.